, , , ,

First the good news: A “brothel” featuring flexible and nubile sex dolls instead of actual women opened in Barcelona recently. The faux whore house is staffed by four life-sized and “thoroughly sanitized” faux women (each equipped with three orifices; don’t make me spell it out for you), RT reported last month (Come on, Barbie, let’s go party: Europe’s first sex doll brothel opens in Barcelona, Feb. 27). What’s good about it is this: The dolls presumably aren’t the victims of sex trafficking.

The bad: In a follow-up, the website reported that the brothel was forced to move after it lost its lease (Europe’s first sex doll brothel forced to close its doors, March 16). It’s only telling existing customers the new location, at least for now.

For 80 euros an hour, customers get a candlelit private room where they can commune (masturbate) with the doll of their choice while watching porn.

“The creators of the brothel claim that being with one of their dolls is even better than sex with a real human, stating on their website that: ‘These sex dolls will make the experience more pleasurable, exciting and erotic,’” RT reported. Maybe it’s because the dolls don’t talk or watch the clock.

Why not? I hope sex doll brothels proliferate. If it catches on in North America (RT noted that sex doll brothels have opened in China and Japan), it could revitalize America’s declining shopping malls. Think of it: A new fun activity for our nation’s hordes of over-sexed teenage boys (and their fathers)! The mind boggles.

With all this news about sex dolls, I can’t help but plug my sex doll erotica, Sex Machine. Alas, no brothel in my fictional account of a robot programmed to fornicate like Alison, my hero (a champion fornicator). But it’s chock full of explicit sex and is a good story to masturbate to—and only $2.99 (not 80 euros). Maybe I’ll work the brothel angle into the sequel.