And why is that? Because what is considered “normal” in sexual activity is changing, according to an article in the Globe and Mail (Canada), Many ‘abnormal’ sexual tastes are neither rare nor unusual, study finds.
“A new study suggests sexual fantasies, urges and behaviours that are often considered abnormal are actually quite common among the general population, raising questions about how psychiatrists and psychologists define what is sexually normal or not,” the article said.
The study reached out to about a thousand residents of Quebec, and found out that about half of the respondents expressed the desire (my emphasis) to engage in what the study called “paraphilic” or anomalous sexual activities. Well, who gets to decide what these activities are? The authors of the study, I guess.
Also, the folks surveyed “desired” to do the naughty (or formerly naughty). Would it be overreaching to say that nearly half of the people in the survey fantasized about (here’s what lead the list): “voyeurism – surreptitiously watching strangers when they are nude, undressing or having sex…fetishism – sexual arousal by an inanimate, non-sexual object; frotteurism – touching or rubbing oneself against a stranger; and masochism – sexual arousal while suffering, being dominated or humiliated.”
If it’s just fantasy (the realm I deal with in my erotica), then this sounds like an awfully tame list to me. The stuff I fantasize about (but seriously doubt I’d ever do) includes fucking the guy who drives my trash truck on my front lawn (he’s really big from tossing trash cans around all day, and black, which I’m not). Then him tossing me over, sodomizing me and releasing his bladder into my rectum.
Whew. I don’t get that fantasy very often, but, boy, it powers a very intense masturbation session.
So, overall, pretty vanilla stuff in that study, don’t you think? For fantasies? Where’s the rope bondage? Pee play? Anal? Femdom and male orgasm denial? Incest? My piss-in-the-ass fantasy? And nothing about gay sex (male or female).
It goes, I think, to the authors’ definition of normal: “interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically normal, physically mature, consenting human partners.” Anything else “is not necessarily disordered, but is considered paraphilic or abnormal.”
My score card (not that I was asked) on the anomalous activities in the study:
Voyeurism. I can get off on it (and have), but really don’t go out of my way to watch people fuck (unlike the motel owner profiled in the New Yorker who “studied” (secretly watched) guests for like 15 years in a very elaborate set up).
Exhibitionism, which I don’t do. But I really like outdoor sex. And part of the thrill of taking your clothes off and fucking (or masturbating) outdoors is the danger of getting caught. I’m also a nudist and enjoy people seeing me nude. But it’s in the right context and is not overtly sexual (sensual, sure, but nudism isn’t about sex).
Frotteurism (touching or rubbing oneself against a stranger). New one on me (unless you’re talking about pickup sex). Is this subway sex? Anyway, if it included objects, I might qualify. Things like bedposts, pillows, trees…
Masochism: Yes! Spank me! When I’m close to coming, I like to be slapped in the face–hard. I like to have my genitals smacked. If my ass is bruised the next morning and it hurts to sit, I know I had a good time. I want hickies! But it’s all in a sexual context and, I strongly suspect, pretty mild compared to what the real BDSM crowd gets into.
Sadism: Nope. I’ll spank in a return-the-favor way. But it doesn’t get me off.
Pedophilia: Nope. Puh-leeze.
Fetishism (sexual arousal by an inanimate, non-sexual object). Hmm. Do dildos and vibrators count? I suspect not. Shoes? Toaster ovens? Nope.
Transvestism: I’m more about getting my clothes off than dressing up like the other sex.
Being Canadian and sensible , one of the authors made this comment about the concept of “abnormality” in sex: “If people are happy, if everybody is consenting, I don’t know why it should be abnormal, especially in 2016.”
Right. For the really abnormal stuff, fantasize (and read erotica!)