Food for Thought Friday wants to know. The question: “Do you need or expect to know how many previous sexual encounters your current sexual partner has had? Is it any of your business?”
Wait, that’s two questions. But the answer to both is no. It’s something I got over in my early twenties, when I was insecure and possessive. Plus, I don’t think it’s really about the number of former lovers. The implied questions are, Were they better than me? More beautiful? Sexier? Did you love them more? Were they better in bed?
Further complicating things is the definition of sexual encounter. Does mutual masturbation count? Oral? Or only penetrative sex? Do I see a lesbian in the back of the room waving her hand?
In mature relationships, the answers to the questions usually come out, assuming the partners are honest and caring. Sure, there’s curiosity. Questions come up, like where’s the most unusual or craziest place you ever fucked? (I’d answer that, but it sounds like a good F4TF question. So I’ll save it.) The answer to questions like that round out a relationship, and you soon get a sense whether your lover spent her youth chaste and pure or was the town slut. Hell, it’s almost always something in between. Why stress over it?