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It’s official folks: The average erect penis is about five inches long.

How do I know? Science.

From Salon, Here is the average penis length, according to science: [T]he average penis is 5.16 inches long and 4.6 inches around when erect, and 3.6 inches long and 3.7 inches around when flaccid. The 15,521 participants in the 20 compiled studies ranged in age from 17 to 91, and exhibited quite a range in size. Only about 2.28 percent had abnormally small penises, which the researchers classified as being two standard deviations below the mean; the same percentage of men had abnormally large penises, two standard deviations above the mean. 

So…so…what about those outrageously hung guys on my Tumblr? Many of them are black and have enormous schlongs. Are they freaks?

Apparently, they are. At least, according to science.

Personally, penis size never meant much. Enthusiasm, good looks, a sense of humor, a nice apartment…need I go on?

Plus, who wants a nine-inch piece of junk hanging between their legs? I mean, all day. At work. Driving the car. Riding a bike.

How important is penis size to you? Does five inches sound about right? If you’re a guy with a five-inch cock, do you feel better knowing you are, in fact, average? Did you ever care? If you’re a hetero woman, does size matter? Do you need a big penis to be satisfied? What about you gay guys?

Science wants to know. Scratch that. I want to know.