Drum roll: I am honored to inform you of my induction into the E-Read Erotica ERE-Store as a Hero of the Revolution by store mistress Sylvia Storm. By way of explanation, the ERE-Store is a new way to buy erotica—books are grouped by keywords, making it easier for erotica shoppers to find their kink. Think of it as an intelligent front end for Amazon (and at no extra cost).
Heroes of the Revolution are forward-thinking erotica authors like (ahem) me, who promote the ERE-Store on our websites and social media. Here’s what Sylvie had to say:
I love K.C.’s books, they have this raw sexuality and kink I am just attracted to. Plus those covers! Check out K.C.’s section in the Heroes section of the store and be treated to a sumptuous wall of flesh and desire. So many lips! I love seeing a writer’s covers featured like this as a retrospective and artistic theme. So check out K.C. Cave’s books and help spread the word by being a hero.
In addition to making it easier for readers to find the erotica they want, Sylvie regularly reviews erotica at E-Read Erotica Reviews. She’s a wonderful and inventive writer who guides readers through the maze of erotica books in this crowded market. She also offers expert advice to writers in her Wednesday Workshops on the craft of writing intelligent, arousing and effective erotica. Whether you’re a reader or a writer of erotica, check her out (and subscribe to her blog).
An article in Salon made me feel like I had time-traveled back to the grim 50s, when books were banned and films were censored for boobs, and, well, just about anything overtly sexual: England just banned female ejaculation in porn movies.
From the Salon article (The orgasm police: Why female ejaculation is one of the last porn taboos): “As has been widely reported in recent weeks, the U.K. has instituted broad restrictions against certain acts in online streaming pornography, including female ejaculation. ‘This isn’t actually all that new,’ says Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen. ‘The UK and some other countries used to give lesbian movies with ejaculation an especially hard time at the import office.'”
The problem–which, I think you’ll agree isn’t a problem at all–is that some misguided souls think that squirting is actually urination. To which I say, so fucking what? Who cares whether it’s piss or girl cum? Don’t like porn with water play? Don’t watch it.
Turns out, the Brits have been in squirting-denial for years: “In 2001, a porn film by the name of ‘Squirt Queens’ was approved only after the name was changed to ‘British Cum Queens’ and more than six minutes of female ejaculation was scrapped. The squirting was thought to look like urolagnia, the eroticism of urination, which is banned in the U.K. Never mind that the filmmakers said it was female ejaculate, not urination. All that mattered was that it looked kinda like pee to the censors — and after consulting with experts, the British Board of Film Classification expressed skepticism that female ejaculation even existed at all.”
Of course, there’s got to be a more insidious reason for getting down on squirting–and there is, Salon reports: “There is another explanation — one with more of a cultural angle — for why female ejaculation so rankles censors. As Kristina Lloyd brilliantly wrote …, ‘The BBFC’s ban colludes with the cultural default of viewing female sexuality as intangible and precious, as if the ‘enigma of woman’ was something beyond the reach of science.’ The truth is, the science isn’t unclear on the matter: In the 2013 paper “Obscene Squirting: If the Government Thinks it’s Urine, Then They’ve Got Another Thing Coming,” [research shows that] women can ejaculate even when their bladders are empty and that ‘the chemical composition of ejaculate differs from that of urine.’ It is not, I repeat, it is not urine.”
Got that, British Board of Film Classification? (Probably not.)
A footnote: Where was the John Waters quote? Salon should have called him. Maryland film censors in the ’60s and ’70s gave him the publicity that made him into a film auteur. I’m sure he would have hilarious things to say about the British Board of Film Classification and its war on squirting.
Yeah, I feel okay about masturbation. It’s a rare day that I don’t, and I’ve been doing since I was ten years old, if memory serves. Masturbation is like a best friend that I know I can rely on. I like sex with other people (women, mainly). But it’s never a substitute for the pleasure that I can have with myself (although, I must add, masturbating with another person is real turn-on).
I’m always amazed that there are people out there who don’t masturbate or put it down. Europeans, I’m told, look down on it, too. You must be a loser who can’t make it with another person, they must reason.
What got me on this topic? This blog on the Huffington Post, Why It Took Me to My 50s to Feel OK About Masturbation,” by Erika Jagger (no relation to that other Jagger, as far as I can tell). You’ve got to like a blog post that starts, “I started masturbating when I was five.” Damn! Got me beat by five years.
Like most Americans, Jagger had to put up with a lot of negativity about sex and, like most of us, felt some shame about jilling-off. Yet she grew out of it. Finally, in her late twenties, a friend dragged her to a sex shop, and she got her first vibrator.
“I used it immediately when I got home and was amazed by the intensity of my orgasm,” Jagger wrote. “It was almost like losing my virginity. I discovered a new position (on my back) for masturbating, and a new way of touching myself. I discovered what it was like to penetrate myself, as a lover would do.”
Now in her early fifties, Jagger’s sexuality has matured even more. She’s really into it. In fact, it sounds like she’s having the best sex of her life–and lot of it is masturbating.
“My sexuality has evolved through masturbation,” she continued. “I no longer feel shame when I lie back on my pillows for an electronic interlude. I no longer feel that I’m betraying my mother when I touch myself. I know now, at 52, that masturbation shouldn’t be a guilty pleasure, but rather a regular part of self-care.
“My journey through masturbation has taught me to take care of my own needs. It’s allowed me to celebrate my exodus from repression. And it’s enabled me to understand and claim my sexuality, in all its fierce, raw, and sensual wonder.”
Good words to read. Let’s all go celebrate. I have an idea….