Yeah, I feel okay about masturbation. It’s a rare day that I don’t, and I’ve been doing since I was ten years old, if memory serves. Masturbation is like a best friend that I know I can rely on. I like sex with other people (women, mainly). But it’s never a substitute for the pleasure that I can have with myself (although, I must add, masturbating with another person is real turn-on).
I’m always amazed that there are people out there who don’t masturbate or put it down. Europeans, I’m told, look down on it, too. You must be a loser who can’t make it with another person, they must reason.
What got me on this topic? This blog on the Huffington Post, Why It Took Me to My 50s to Feel OK About Masturbation,” by Erika Jagger (no relation to that other Jagger, as far as I can tell). You’ve got to like a blog post that starts, “I started masturbating when I was five.” Damn! Got me beat by five years.
Like most Americans, Jagger had to put up with a lot of negativity about sex and, like most of us, felt some shame about jilling-off. Yet she grew out of it. Finally, in her late twenties, a friend dragged her to a sex shop, and she got her first vibrator.
“I used it immediately when I got home and was amazed by the intensity of my orgasm,” Jagger wrote. “It was almost like losing my virginity. I discovered a new position (on my back) for masturbating, and a new way of touching myself. I discovered what it was like to penetrate myself, as a lover would do.”
Now in her early fifties, Jagger’s sexuality has matured even more. She’s really into it. In fact, it sounds like she’s having the best sex of her life–and lot of it is masturbating.
“My sexuality has evolved through masturbation,” she continued. “I no longer feel shame when I lie back on my pillows for an electronic interlude. I no longer feel that I’m betraying my mother when I touch myself. I know now, at 52, that masturbation shouldn’t be a guilty pleasure, but rather a regular part of self-care.
“My journey through masturbation has taught me to take care of my own needs. It’s allowed me to celebrate my exodus from repression. And it’s enabled me to understand and claim my sexuality, in all its fierce, raw, and sensual wonder.”
Good words to read. Let’s all go celebrate. I have an idea….